


pulling us back down

by montivagant



Series: we should run away, oh someday [5]
Category: Batman (Comics), Iron Man (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, First Kiss, Graphic description of scarring, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Past Character Death, idk what else to tag this w/?, no graphic violence but tony talks abt being kidnapped, that one's jason, this fic is cute i swear skrfnrkg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 10:44:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18991081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/montivagant/pseuds/montivagant
Summary: Being a superhero leaves scars. Sometimes more than you'd expect.





	pulling us back down

**Author's Note:**

> title from two slow dancers by mitski, these two verses fit the whole fic real well:
> 
> and the ground has been slowly pulling us back down / you see it on both our skin / we get a few years and then it wants us back  
> it would be a hundred times easier / if we were young again / but as it is / and it is

Jason knew he had scars. What superhero didn't? And Tony hadn't been just any superhero, he'd been _Iron Man._ So, Jason was expecting the scars.

But.

The first time Jason saw Tony shirtless, he couldn't help but gasp. There was this giant mass of scar tissue, on his _chest_ , and Jason didn't--he had no idea what could cause something like that. He was pretty sure he had less scars, and he'd been beaten to death. With a _crowbar._

The mass wasn't the only one, but it was the most unexpected.

Tony noticed his look, flashed Jason a tight smile. "There that many more than last time?"

"Don't think I," Jason swallowed, "don't think I noticed 'em last time. Was pretty, y'know, drunk."

He laughs, softly, in a way that makes Jason regret his words.

"Yeah. I get that. I remember yours, though. There's one.." Tony's voice drifts off as he slips his hand under Jason's still on shirt, landing on his hip, to the side, up a bit. He rubs his fingers over a rough line. "There," whispered, "right where I left it," a genuine, if weirdly placed, smile.

Jason takes the courage to put his own hands on Tony, starting on his free hand (smaller scars and burns crisscrossing the surface, from a life of engineering), up his arm (two bullets, a pretty wicked looking slash), across his shoulder (another bullet here, the beginnings of the large mass). He goes slowly, watching Tony's eyes as he does so, ready to pull back.

Tony doesn't flinch, not even as Jason's hand spirals in, ending in the centerpoint of the scarring. There's a strange almost dip there that wasn't noticeable before, almost as if--Jason keeps his face and thoughts reigned in, he doesn't want to scare the other man away. But what could do this to a man? How is Tony standing alive before him?

"Hit by a bomb. My own bomb."

Tony's voice is barely above a whisper.

"I had shrapnel stuck inside me. Doctor called me the _walking dead._ " He drifts off, staring into space. "I used to.. had this metal thing." Another pause. 

Jason doesn't move an inch, he's barely breathing. How can Tony _trust_ him with this?

"Kinda.. kinda like a pacemaker?"

It's the question there that alerts him to it. The tendency of superheroes to downplay everything. He'll assume it was at least ten times more horrific than that.

"Big magnet. To keep the shrapnel from killing me. To keep my heart working right."

Jason breathes out. Slowly. That's... that's pretty horrifying on it's own. He'll give it that. He traces the lines one last time before taking the hand back, uses it to take off his shirt, finally.

Tony doesn't gasp, but his eyes go wide.

"I didn't get it last time. I thought--well. I didn't have enough cylinders running to think about it." Tony's hand moves from Jason's back, where it's rested this whole time. Jason misses the warmth, but then Tony's fingers are brushing against his autopsy scars.

"I'm sorry."

"What?"

"That this happened to you. It must've been hard. Dying always is, but I never did it at 15."

Jason blinks. He's not--"have _you_ died?"

"Not as long as you have. And not in the same way."

He breathes out again, this time feeling his chest move under Tony's fingers.

"I can't do this anymore." It's too strangled, Jason thinks, to understand. But Tony does, of course he does.

Tony takes his hand off the autopsy scar, but leaves it within Jason's vision. He moves it then to hold Jason's hand, tug him gently toward the bed.

"Then we don't have to anymore."

Jason nods, follows. And then bumps into Tony when he stops next to the bed.

"Sorry." Whispered.

Tony shakes his head, turns around and sits on the edge of the bed. They're still holding hands. "Don't apologize." He tugs their hands again and Jason.. follows. His legs press against Tony's.

They're both staring, and they both know it.

"I.."

"Join me." 

They're both quiet.

Jason's sitting next to Tony before he decides to move.

They're still holding hands, sides pressed together.

"I want to kiss you."

"I know."

Tony works up the courage, turns his head to meet Jason's eyes. 

"I want to, too."

They move at the same time, meeting in the middle. Their kiss is slow, at first. Their free hands moving to hold each other. They don't want to let go.

They end up in the middle of the bed, still sitting, half on top of each other. Still holding hands.

Tony's other hand is finally, finally, in Jason's hair. It's even softer than he'd dreamed.

Jason's is on Tony's back, tracing muscles up and down. 

Their kiss breaks apart with soft gasps for air from both sides, but they're still pressed together on the bed.

"Can we jus--"  
"I don't want--"

Two identical soft grins.

"You go--"  
"Continue--"

Two laughs now.

"I don't think, ah, going at the speed we did last time--"

"Breakneck? Full speed ahead?" There's a laugh in Jason's voice when he speaks.

"--yeah, somethin' like that." And a matching one in Tony's. "Because of my, uh, circumstances."

He blinks. Shifts slightly. "You mean cause you're stealin' my bed?"

Tony looks away. "You know what I mean."

Jason winces. "Yeah. I do. Sorry."

Tony shrugs.

"But I, I agree. Cause of.. cause my circumstances."

He opens his mouth. Pauses. "Which one?"

".. now you're just being a dick."

Tony shrugs, "maybe," unapologetic.

Jason smiles. "Soooo..."

"So?" Tony's head.. tilts to the side in question. Jason realizes he thinks it's cute.

"You wanna keep makin' out or you too tired?"

Tony smiles, and moves a hand to pull Jason into lying down with him. "I got some time."

"Mm, let's get under the covers. It's cold.."


End file.
